Neatly Folded

" Perhaps you have reached the stage when life stops giving you and starts taking away " - Indian Jones and the Crystal Skull . Few, very few, have not been as lucky. There are those out there, like me, who have only learnt to let go. Whether we want to or not. To learn to love, only to lose - is a fate that I would not wish upon my worst enemies, even in my greatest rage. For that is a reality that I am still teaching myself to live with. There are those who believe this is an act of self-pity but believe me, after years of scornful speeches from well-wishers and watching them return in their own time to apologise for their insensitivity, I have learnt not to care. Those who try to understand might succeed but those that grow tired of only listening to my daily struggle to live a meaningful existence and more than welcome to walk out of the door - and they have. I will not wallow in the whole morbid recollection of all that I have lost this year, for the list continues...

India's much too short autumn is breathing its last and the onslaught of the cold draught of wind stirs up an age-old foe, depression. I am not among the surprised ones this year. I have known all too well of the creeping hollowness that winters can bring. However, I must admit that I am surprised that instead of being on guard against the symptoms I have come to know very well. I find myself wielding a defiant shield against a recognised few. So here I am today, battling the horrors that make the ones I care about weak and try to help them overcome their fears and the only question that I face, like every other year, is.. What should I look forward to now? Do not misunderstand my anxiety for depression, let the insolence lie aside for a while. Sit, listen to me for once... for I have much to express. Life has been as exciting as I could have never possibly imagined. My understanding is so very limited that I simply give up in awe at the beauty of everything around me. It is tru...