I have known for quite a while that chemical drugs simply don't go well with me. It induces a high that I cannot control and losing control over my physical being is of extreme discomfit to me. I have stayed away from chemical induced highs and the only rare occasions when I have indulged in them were only when I was drunk. Even then, the experience was anything but memorable. As the drug takes charge of my mind and forces me let go of control over my body, a defense mechanism takes shape to fight off the drug and retain control over the body causing a very disturbing pattern in my mind. In short, I get violent.
Having been an active surfer on Youtube for meditative chants and sounds that calm my mind, I came across a video called Digital Drug and was instantly intrigued. The effect of a chemical is, after all, to cause a particular pattern in the mind and the same can also be brought to effect by an aware mind using a stimulating piece of music. Having some time to spare, I clicked on the link and gave it a listen. I was quite taken aback by the effect. Of course, being a believer, I could say that I cannot really say that it was effective just as yet. I plan to carry the sounds home and give it a listen without any literature guiding me through the experience or telling me how to 'feel'.
Meanwhile, the collection on Youtube is quite an interesting mix. There are a variety of sounds aimed at stimulating a variety of responses: stress relief, anger management, boosting physical activity, boosting mental activity to the frequency of love and even sound for lucid dreams!! I found quite the lot from the clippings there. Though I have been using music to stimulate my mind for quite a while, it is amazing to find a different musical vocabulary that I had never explored before. This is definitely going to keep me returning to my computer for a long, long time.
India's much too short autumn is breathing its last and the onslaught of the cold draught of wind stirs up an age-old foe, depression. I am not among the surprised ones this year. I have known all too well of the creeping hollowness that winters can bring. However, I must admit that I am surprised that instead of being on guard against the symptoms I have come to know very well. I find myself wielding a defiant shield against a recognised few. So here I am today, battling the horrors that make the ones I care about weak and try to help them overcome their fears and the only question that I face, like every other year, is.. What should I look forward to now? Do not misunderstand my anxiety for depression, let the insolence lie aside for a while. Sit, listen to me for once... for I have much to express. Life has been as exciting as I could have never possibly imagined. My understanding is so very limited that I simply give up in awe at the beauty of everything around me. It is tru...
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