Neatly Folded

A movie I just saw brings back the memory of a very old friend. A question.."How can I be true to myself if I don't know who I am?" The very same has helped me make many mistakes in life, filled me with guilt and caused, I must admit, much trauma to my fragile sense of balance. Since I have never really known the truth about me, I have always chosen to be surrounded by those who identified with me at that point in life or, were as confused as me. It was a convenient thing to do. And now, I realise that convenience, no matter how articulately portrayed as reality, runs a certain course. So I am now standing at a point where those who related to me have no use for my existence, my quest is rendered redundant and my restlessness annoys them. If I play along, I'm being too polite and artificial, if I choose to keep away, then I am rude and insensitive. Somehow, though it still bothers me a bit, I know this will pass. My quest is mine alone and no one is bound to unders