Skip to main content

Turn off the radio


This has to be the end of the line humour for anyone who bothers to read. Last evening, a friend and I sat down to listen to the new version of Eminem's Love the Way you Lie. It was just a flicker of emotion on her face but I sensed it immediately. The memory of being through a violent kind of passion and with the very sense of it I realised yet another thing. The ugly beast inside me was smirking... I sensed how strongly I had repressed it's powerful claw and now, I realised I had failed and that it had found a broken piece of mirror to flow back into the reflection.

It took me three hours of non-stop prayers to find any semblance of peace this morning. The Satan as anyone who has been his prey knows, knows the best time to strike and like every year, these past seven years, today has always been the weakest day for me. And so, I looked up the internet to see the root of the evil and I realised that yes, there are numerous accounts of songs/tracks that I can bring under the umbrella of 'instant depression' buttons. Needless to say, most of these songs are so wonderful to behold that you would gladly give up your life just to hit the repeat button.

For as long as I can remember the title track of Tum Bin snapped a few chords quite rudely in my heart. Koi Fariyaad from the same movie song album was equally disturbing and despite their negative effect on my mind, I couldn't resist listening to them. I still get affected by both. Then there was Tanhai from the film Dil Chahta Hai. I am pretty sure singer Sonu Nigam didn't care about how suicidal he made me feel when he was trying to jusitfy the character's agony. But now, there's so much more in my kitty. The latest addition being Eminem and Rihanna's combined angst in Love the Way You Lie Part 2. Turns out I am not the only one who has been listening to Creep by Radiohead over and over again through the day. Several have done it before me, before taking the plunge to the sound of being weird.

So do me a favour today. Get up and turn off the radio before it turns off the bloody lights on me.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

To Time

This is yet another of those bigger truths that simply floated into my mind during a late night conversation with my soul. I was thinking about some random occult practices that I haven't practiced in a while (not that I am a devout follower) when I it occurred to me that the concept of time, is a man-made one. God, doesn't understand or adhere to man's principle of time. Think about it, the day doesn't start or end at the same time. Time is not the constant, sunrise and sunset are. The seasons are not dependant on time, life and death are not dependant on time either. We, as humans, have devised time as a tool. This led me to the other question, why? Why do we need time? Well, how else would man have justified his other great concoction, reality. Time is a measure for reality. If a person dies, we are in a state of shock. We call it an untimely death or worse, "Their time was up." Really? As someone who strongly believes that every human being on the face of ...

What I look forward to..

India's much too short autumn is breathing its last and the onslaught of the cold draught of wind stirs up an age-old foe, depression. I am not among the surprised ones this year. I have known all too well of the creeping hollowness that winters can bring. However, I must admit that I am surprised that instead of being on guard against the symptoms I have come to know very well. I find myself wielding a defiant shield against a recognised few. So here I am today, battling the horrors that make the ones I care about weak and try to help them overcome their fears and the only question that I face, like every other year, is.. What should I look forward to now? Do not misunderstand my anxiety for depression, let the insolence lie aside for a while. Sit, listen to me for once... for I have much to express. Life has been as exciting as I could have never possibly imagined. My understanding is so very limited that I simply give up in awe at the beauty of everything around me. It is tru...

Never Back Down

I take the title of today's post from a movie I saw a few months ago during one of my trips. The idea is not to let circumstances get the better of me. To be able to resurrect, no matter who or what I face and always, find my way back to the starting point from which I can make it all right again. No need to say that this is much easier typed than done. Going by the number of distraction that I face on a daily basis, the real challenge is to keep my focus. To analyse on an every day basis where my destination lies and how much I have been able to fare in the span of time alloted to me. It's never easy, considering telling a lie to myself is always an easier option but that's the real fix, being honest to oneself. We all like to believe that we do not tell lies. But is that really the case? Are we truly capable of being absolutely honest with ourselves. If we did, wouldn't that be the foundation of a utopian society? Or a perfect human being? The ability to be honest a...