Skip to main content

Requiem for a Dream

My fingers are flying across the keyboard and I don't remember making sense anymore. i don't know why I should keep writing.. if there is anything at all that still needs to be said that I have not been able to say so far. Before this,. I was not even aware of the emptiness that had started becoming me. I had been running away from the shadows , not realising that I was heading straight into the arms of a darkness and now, when I don't see the shadows behind, I try to stop to take a breath and I realise that I can no longer stop. That I wasn't running at all. That I was being dragged away... mind, body and soul into a blankness. Into a place beyond explanations, justifications or the need of either. I see someone in the distance, it seems like a haze. Despite the blur, I can see that she is scared. afraid and needs someone to reach out to. I try to move towards her.maybe she has seen another way in and together we will be able to find ourr way out. She is crying now and I cannot make myself heard to her. She has covered her ears and she does not want to hear any sound. I reach out. I try hard to listen to what she is aying. I shout louder while moving closer. The closer I get, the more restless we are and finally when I hold her. I see me. - - Written to the title track of the Requiem for a Dream. This is not a state of my mind. It is what I experienced while listening to the track today.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Meaning of Love

Late in the night, I was sitting at my computer yet again (yes, production woes continue)when I see an ex-colleague online. We start having a mundane conversation and he asks me somewhere towards the end, "What is love? How is one supposed to feel when they are in love?" I couldn't give him an answer in complete honesty (he wasn't interested anyways) but I went back to re-feeling, if there is any such possibility, the feeling of being in love. The first time I actually felt love as a woman was on my first Valentine's Day with my husband. Since we spent most of our waking hours together, we had a pretty clear understanding of what we liked or disliked. Despite it being almost a year later, it was difficult to surprise each other. And yet, when he walked in through the door of the flat I used to live it, cake in one hand, flowers in another and a shy, reluctant smile on his face to let me know how bothersome the whole ordeal had been... I felt very special. He sat d...
3 comments
Read more

What's in a dream?

I had happily passed the phase after the strange dream I had of a naked woman wrapped by a giant snake. Till a few minutes ago when a picture of the very vision I had, popped on the screen of my colleague (who sits next to me).. It was a page about Lilith. The true alter-ego of man and the woman God created before Eve. On reading some more, I understand that Lilith was way too explosive to sustain life on Earth and hence, she had to be destroyed. The tamer Eve took her place but Lilith, having been a resident of the Earth, left her traces behind. She had, in fact, borne Adam children.. a girl (I don't know why this sounds obvious) along with several various lesser forms of human (who were conveniently tagged as demon off-spring and their mother termed as a demoness) but since she was uncontrollable to Adam, she was banished. Adam and Eve continued their life on Earth. It is thus, a myth that all children were born of Adam and Eve alone... Lilith and her children prospered as well...
Post a Comment
Read more

What I look forward to..

India's much too short autumn is breathing its last and the onslaught of the cold draught of wind stirs up an age-old foe, depression. I am not among the surprised ones this year. I have known all too well of the creeping hollowness that winters can bring. However, I must admit that I am surprised that instead of being on guard against the symptoms I have come to know very well. I find myself wielding a defiant shield against a recognised few. So here I am today, battling the horrors that make the ones I care about weak and try to help them overcome their fears and the only question that I face, like every other year, is.. What should I look forward to now? Do not misunderstand my anxiety for depression, let the insolence lie aside for a while. Sit, listen to me for once... for I have much to express. Life has been as exciting as I could have never possibly imagined. My understanding is so very limited that I simply give up in awe at the beauty of everything around me. It is tru...
Post a Comment
Read more