My fingers are flying across the keyboard and I don't remember making sense anymore. i don't know why I should keep writing.. if there is anything at all that still needs to be said that I have not been able to say so far. Before this,. I was not even aware of the emptiness that had started becoming me. I had been running away from the shadows , not realising that I was heading straight into the arms of a darkness and now, when I don't see the shadows behind, I try to stop to take a breath and I realise that I can no longer stop. That I wasn't running at all. That I was being dragged away... mind, body and soul into a blankness. Into a place beyond explanations, justifications or the need of either.
I see someone in the distance, it seems like a haze. Despite the blur, I can see that she is scared. afraid and needs someone to reach out to. I try to move towards her.maybe she has seen another way in and together we will be able to find ourr way out. She is crying now and I cannot make myself heard to her. She has covered her ears and she does not want to hear any sound.
I reach out. I try hard to listen to what she is aying. I shout louder while moving closer. The closer I get, the more restless we are and finally when I hold her. I see me.
- - Written to the title track of the Requiem for a Dream. This is not a state of my mind. It is what I experienced while listening to the track today.
This is yet another of those bigger truths that simply floated into my mind during a late night conversation with my soul. I was thinking about some random occult practices that I haven't practiced in a while (not that I am a devout follower) when I it occurred to me that the concept of time, is a man-made one. God, doesn't understand or adhere to man's principle of time. Think about it, the day doesn't start or end at the same time. Time is not the constant, sunrise and sunset are. The seasons are not dependant on time, life and death are not dependant on time either. We, as humans, have devised time as a tool. This led me to the other question, why? Why do we need time? Well, how else would man have justified his other great concoction, reality. Time is a measure for reality. If a person dies, we are in a state of shock. We call it an untimely death or worse, "Their time was up." Really? As someone who strongly believes that every human being on the face of ...

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