My fingers are flying across the keyboard and I don't remember making sense anymore. i don't know why I should keep writing.. if there is anything at all that still needs to be said that I have not been able to say so far. Before this,. I was not even aware of the emptiness that had started becoming me. I had been running away from the shadows , not realising that I was heading straight into the arms of a darkness and now, when I don't see the shadows behind, I try to stop to take a breath and I realise that I can no longer stop. That I wasn't running at all. That I was being dragged away... mind, body and soul into a blankness. Into a place beyond explanations, justifications or the need of either.
I see someone in the distance, it seems like a haze. Despite the blur, I can see that she is scared. afraid and needs someone to reach out to. I try to move towards her.maybe she has seen another way in and together we will be able to find ourr way out. She is crying now and I cannot make myself heard to her. She has covered her ears and she does not want to hear any sound.
I reach out. I try hard to listen to what she is aying. I shout louder while moving closer. The closer I get, the more restless we are and finally when I hold her. I see me.
- - Written to the title track of the Requiem for a Dream. This is not a state of my mind. It is what I experienced while listening to the track today.
My career in journalism started out with an internship at India's prestigious Indian Express newspaper in New Delhi. The office, which took me well over an hour to commute to, was even then, a formidable force in journalism in India. Still an wide-eyed undergraduate with a theoretical grasp of the field, my first and only project over 2 weeks for the organisation, left a huge impact on my career. The idea of going into journalism came from my English teacher, Mrs Moss. One day, close to the completion of my 12th grade, she was suggesting career options for some of us to explore. She looked at me and said, "Given your love for talking, you should consider a career path in law or in media." To put this into context, I was a student with good grades in an English medium school in one of the most backward states of India, Bihar. Any further educational aspirations would take me outside the town that I had grown up in, as was the case for all my classmates. Most of my peers w...
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