Skip to main content

Requiem for a Dream

My fingers are flying across the keyboard and I don't remember making sense anymore. i don't know why I should keep writing.. if there is anything at all that still needs to be said that I have not been able to say so far. Before this,. I was not even aware of the emptiness that had started becoming me. I had been running away from the shadows , not realising that I was heading straight into the arms of a darkness and now, when I don't see the shadows behind, I try to stop to take a breath and I realise that I can no longer stop. That I wasn't running at all. That I was being dragged away... mind, body and soul into a blankness. Into a place beyond explanations, justifications or the need of either. I see someone in the distance, it seems like a haze. Despite the blur, I can see that she is scared. afraid and needs someone to reach out to. I try to move towards her.maybe she has seen another way in and together we will be able to find ourr way out. She is crying now and I cannot make myself heard to her. She has covered her ears and she does not want to hear any sound. I reach out. I try hard to listen to what she is aying. I shout louder while moving closer. The closer I get, the more restless we are and finally when I hold her. I see me. - - Written to the title track of the Requiem for a Dream. This is not a state of my mind. It is what I experienced while listening to the track today.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Introduction to the Journalism Pathway

My career in journalism started out with an internship at India's prestigious Indian Express newspaper in New Delhi. The office, which took me well over an hour to commute to, was even then, a formidable force in journalism in India. Still an wide-eyed undergraduate with a theoretical grasp of the field, my first and only project over 2 weeks for the organisation, left a huge impact on my career.  The idea of going into journalism came from my English teacher, Mrs Moss. One day, close to the completion of my 12th grade, she was suggesting career options for some of us to explore. She looked at me and said, "Given your love for talking, you should consider a career path in law or in media." To put this into context, I was a student with good grades in an English medium school in one of the most backward states of India, Bihar. Any further educational aspirations would take me outside the town that I had grown up in, as was the case for all my classmates. Most of my peers w...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Ooze from the Gut

Life continues to be on a roll and I continue to fumble along with it. Now is the time to pause and reflect and also the time when the injuries take their toll. I go back to one of the conversations I had a few months ago. One about looking at life in blocks. When I started out, everything seemed to blend into a single block - behavourial patterns, circumstances and their effects. As I moved closer to the present, these blocks started to get smaller till it became one flowing mass of circumstances with a varying range of effects. Fast forward to a time when even pausing to catch my breath seems like a remote possibility. Barring the frantic pace of things of life forming and deforming around me, there is also the challenge of keeping an eye out for the obvious. The movement of the starts in the sky, the flight patterns of the birds, the falling and growing of leaves and flowers and the multitude of colours that dominate the expanse of my existence. They cannot and should not be over...
Post a Comment
Read more

To endorse or not to endorse

It's a tricky question... For the past three days I find myself returning, every now and then to search for new tracks for my digital high. I have to admit it is quite addictive. Taking my curiosity to an all new high, I opened my sound cloud account today and VIOLA! discovered an entire community of people who have succumbed to the sound. It is the same feeling from earlier, just that now I don't have to worry about waking up with the stench of alcohol on me. I just sit in my office and punch a few keys and stay submerged in the sound. The problem is that like any other addiction, I cannot share this ecstacy with the world. I tried getting a colleague to hear one of the tracks but she didn't like its effects. Twenty continuous minutes of listening to the music and I feel so high. I feel light, I feel strange. I feel happy too. It's nice. I plan to get my music player and download some of the grub and carry it with me. Give it a listen for a few days and if it works fi...
Post a Comment
Read more